I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of all the things that are not working in your life. That job you don’t like, that relationship that’s not working, those friends that annoy you. Now turn them all on you. Imagine that everything that’s not working in your life, is your fault. How would you approach it? What would you work on to change your life to the state that you want it to be?

(Author: Carlos Miceli)


In most 12-step programs, there’s a part where one takes a “fearless moral inventory” of one’s self and then admits to the nature of those wrongs. I tend to think that this exercise is a lot like that.

It’s scary to admit our true flaws. There are flaws that we can accept, like the ones that make us colorful. Things like our clumsiness or our inability to laugh without making an obnoxiously loud noise. Then there are the flaws that give us pain to acknowledge.  Like selfishness. Indifference. Jealousy. Rage. It’s difficult to admit that you are faulted. Just say it out loud: “It’s my fault.”

But after the sinking feeling in your heart passes, and you recognize that you are flawed and faulted, it’s time to stand up. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, its that you have to accept yourself, even the parts that you don’t like. All of it. It’s all you. Fighting it will only hurt you more. Accept that it’s your fault. And then, move forward.  Do not dwell on what’s past. Apologize. Admit you were wrong. Make amends. Cherish what you knew you took for granted.

I can remember a friend saying, “Acceptance is the key to everything.” When it comes to our faults, the ugliness that all of us have a little bit of, acceptance is the only way to heal. When we acknowledge and accept, we take a step back from the edge and forward towards humanity.

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