In the past two weeks, I’ve spent more money than I’ve had to in years.

After my laptop battery went and I couldn’t take the slow performance anymore, I decided to upgrade to an affordable Dell with more RAM, a better processor, and a larger hard drive. The cost wasn’t anywhere near as much as my original laptop was five years ago, however, clicking the order button and seeing the drain from account didn’t leave me with the glee that most people seem to feel when they purchase something new.

Then came the trip to the outlets with my Mom, aunt, and cousin. Sure it was a great time, and yes, I got a ton of great deals, but seeing how much I spent on new clothes made me feel a little guilty.

Today it was a new pair of sneakers to replace the ones that got a hole, a jean jacket, some notebooks, and a few textbooks for the upcoming semester. At the end of the spree, I took a tally. Holy crap. That’s a lot more than I thought.

I’d like to think that I’m very good with money. I save, I pay my bills on time, and I’m conscious of everything I buy. But when it comes down to spending a whole lot of money in a short period of time, I’m filled with a sense of panic. For me, there’s something very scary about having a large sum of money and then having to spend it. But then again, there’s such a joy in having new.

New is fresh and crisp and clean. New is sexy. New makes you feel good.

But new can also make you panic over your bank statements.

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